Happy Birthday Trevor! You are the light of my life and I love you more than you could ever imagine. You have taught us so much in just one year. You have given us faith, hope, and strength. You have touched so many people and proved that god still performs miracles.
One year ago today, a tiny miracle came into this world and changes our lives forever. I will take the time to "recap" a little.
Trevor was born at 5:31pm weighing 1lb, 1oz and 11.5" long. He was alive and vigorous at birth, but had to be intubated immediately because he was not able to breathe on his own or maintain his blood pressure. We were told that he was stable, but very critical. His chances of survival were small and IF he did survive, he chances of a major disability were very high. He was a dark red, almost purple color because his skin was so thin, and not yet matured. His legs and buttocks and under one arm, was bruised from the delivery. His fingernails, just barely there, were the size of the head of a sraight pin. His fingers (all together) barely coverd my thumbnail,and his feet were the size of a packet of salt from McDonalds. His head was about 7 inches in circumference. (about the size of a pool ball) At 3 days old he was put under general anesthesia & underwent PDA surgery to place a titanium clip on the artery that runs between his heart and lungs. It was successful, but left his left vocal cord paralyzed. He has a 3 inch scar from this surgery. He was on Morpine for 4 days. The amount of pain he endured during his 102 day stay in the NICU, is phenomenal. He was given 14 blood transfusions, 4 spinal taps, almost daily blood draws, and had to give urine samples taken by injecting a needle into his abdomen and directly into his bladder, twice. He was not given any pain medication for ANY of those procedures. He was difficult to intubate, so each time he was put back on the vent (3 times) his throat would bleed. His little feet are scarred with tiny white flecks from all of the heel sticks and his belly button has scars from the tubes/lines that were placed there. He has 2 scars on his arm from where the PICC lines were placed. I do not write this to upset anyone. I write it because that is the difficult truth of what happened to my son. And sometimes, like today, I catch myself thinking about how hard it was for me to leave him. How sad it was to see him like that, and how bad I hurt after the c-section. So, I think back on all of that and remind myself that what I went through was nothing. I may have hurt emotionally for a long time and physically for a few weeks, but he is the one who took the most. Nothing I felt could compare to what he must have felt, almost daily. So I just wanted to remind everyone of how strong Trevor must have been, and still is. What a fighter to endure so much, and never give up! And what a blessed miracle to turn out so happy and healthy.....nothing like what we were told to expect.
Now when I look at him, I see a healthy, chubby, sweet little boy with big blue eyes & a smile that melts my heart. But in a split second, I am reminded of what he went through, and his strength amazes me. It's hard to believe that a year has come and gone. After thinking back on all of this, I am reminded how extremely special today is. His 1st birthday. Something that could have very easily never happened. I am thankful every second of every day for the gift we have been given. I say gift, because no man, machine, or amount of skill on this earth could have given Trevor the life he has today. His life and health is God-given, and there is no doubt about it. I never, ever want anyone to forget that.
One year ago today, a tiny miracle came into this world and changes our lives forever. I will take the time to "recap" a little.
Trevor was born at 5:31pm weighing 1lb, 1oz and 11.5" long. He was alive and vigorous at birth, but had to be intubated immediately because he was not able to breathe on his own or maintain his blood pressure. We were told that he was stable, but very critical. His chances of survival were small and IF he did survive, he chances of a major disability were very high. He was a dark red, almost purple color because his skin was so thin, and not yet matured. His legs and buttocks and under one arm, was bruised from the delivery. His fingernails, just barely there, were the size of the head of a sraight pin. His fingers (all together) barely coverd my thumbnail,and his feet were the size of a packet of salt from McDonalds. His head was about 7 inches in circumference. (about the size of a pool ball) At 3 days old he was put under general anesthesia & underwent PDA surgery to place a titanium clip on the artery that runs between his heart and lungs. It was successful, but left his left vocal cord paralyzed. He has a 3 inch scar from this surgery. He was on Morpine for 4 days. The amount of pain he endured during his 102 day stay in the NICU, is phenomenal. He was given 14 blood transfusions, 4 spinal taps, almost daily blood draws, and had to give urine samples taken by injecting a needle into his abdomen and directly into his bladder, twice. He was not given any pain medication for ANY of those procedures. He was difficult to intubate, so each time he was put back on the vent (3 times) his throat would bleed. His little feet are scarred with tiny white flecks from all of the heel sticks and his belly button has scars from the tubes/lines that were placed there. He has 2 scars on his arm from where the PICC lines were placed. I do not write this to upset anyone. I write it because that is the difficult truth of what happened to my son. And sometimes, like today, I catch myself thinking about how hard it was for me to leave him. How sad it was to see him like that, and how bad I hurt after the c-section. So, I think back on all of that and remind myself that what I went through was nothing. I may have hurt emotionally for a long time and physically for a few weeks, but he is the one who took the most. Nothing I felt could compare to what he must have felt, almost daily. So I just wanted to remind everyone of how strong Trevor must have been, and still is. What a fighter to endure so much, and never give up! And what a blessed miracle to turn out so happy and healthy.....nothing like what we were told to expect.
Now when I look at him, I see a healthy, chubby, sweet little boy with big blue eyes & a smile that melts my heart. But in a split second, I am reminded of what he went through, and his strength amazes me. It's hard to believe that a year has come and gone. After thinking back on all of this, I am reminded how extremely special today is. His 1st birthday. Something that could have very easily never happened. I am thankful every second of every day for the gift we have been given. I say gift, because no man, machine, or amount of skill on this earth could have given Trevor the life he has today. His life and health is God-given, and there is no doubt about it. I never, ever want anyone to forget that.
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